Chris Michael Shea

(aka @tierack on Twitter)

Co-host of A Fine Show, Indeed, Wednesdays, 8:30pm, at Bushwick Public House

Hardcore Coop Building Rules

  • Trash and recycling goes out Mondays. Compost is Wednesday. Thursday is screamo night.
  • Dogs under 35 pounds are allowed and must be kept on a choke-chain collar attached to a hemp leash at all times.
  • Laundry machines are located at your parents’ homes.
  • Bicycle storage is just wherever you leave your bike on the front lawn.
  • No meat is allowed in the building at any time. (Unless it’s late and McDonald’s is the only thing that’s open and it’s vegan cheat day.)
  • Satellite dishes are not allowed. They are an eyesore and corporate media weakens the spirit.
  • Priority parking spaces are reserved for vans with drummers sleeping inside. Vans with bassists will be towed.
  • Renovations do not require board approval. However you cannot construct a stage, as a band should never be elevated over the community.
  • Skateboarding is not a crime, but is against building rules between 9am and 5pm.
  • Overnight guests are permitted, provided it’s a band whose most recent 7-inch was released on an approved hardcore record label.
  • The record label you run out of your bedroom is provisionally an approved hardcord label pending a review of its catalogue in an approved straight-edge zine.
  • The straight-edge zine you make in your living room is provisionally an approved straight-edge zine, though you can’t review your own records and expect to retain any kind of cred.
  • Membership to the coop board will be extended to those residents who most clearly demonstrate the building’s twin commitments to anarchy and city regulations.

06 September 2015